Princess Nancypants, Clay Aiken, is now a daddy! Jaymes Foster - the 50 year old fag hag he artifically inseminated - gave birth to a healthy baby boy around 8am on Friday. They’ve named him Parker Foster Aiken.

That baby had a slim chance of coming out hetereosexual as it is, without being named what could possibly be the gayest name ever! But what’s more startling is that we don’t know the make up of the mother’s genes. Let’s see…she’s 50, she’s friends with Clay Aiken and her name is Jaymes. If she’s not a big snatch eating dyke then I’m the Queen of England. I just hope for the baby’s sake that he doesn’t up looking like his lezzbot daddy. Someone needs to poison his spermsies so this doesn’t happen again!

[Image: Jossip]

Angelina Jolie is considering adopting another child. Ange, who just gave birth to twins Knox and Vivienne last month, has apparently been affected by footage of the recent earthquake in China, which left thousands of children without homes. A source told Britain’s Star magazine:

“Angelina is devastated over the earthquake that occurred in China in May. She has been in constant touch with relief workers as part of her UN involvement, and even got her hands on photos of a few orphaned kids. She’s made overtures offering a home to one earthquake orphan, or even two if they are siblings.”

 Damn, Jennifer Aniston is looking pretty damn good right now compared to Angelina and her ego. At least Jen knows she’s a vain bitch. All her money probably goes to the Jennifer Aniston’s new face project. I don’t know why the bitch bothers…she’d be better off getting a 99c brown bag from Walmart. If only Brad could take Angelina’s looks and Jen’s all-for-one attitude to create the perfect woman…

[Image: People]

Baby Brangelina chicklets! Aka Knox & Vivienne! How adorable are they? I’m totally framing that $15 million picture and sending it straight to the trophy room! OK so I don’t have a trophy room, but I do need toilet paper!

Saint Angelina told the magazine “Shiloh and Z pick out the twins clothes and help change and hold them. It’s sweet – they are little mommies.” 

Shiloh may look like a bucket of laughs, but deep down she’s seething with anger. Shiloh’s pictures were only worth $6 million and the twins got $7.5 million EACH. If clothes pins end up in the twins nappies, you’ll know who it was. JOKING, joking!

[Images: People]