Things are getting serious between Lindsay Lohan and her highschool drop-out boyfriend Samantha Ronson - the two are now getting married. Blohan will officially come out as a lesbian when she weds Samantha in a private ceremony in LA towards the end of the year. Lindsay’s mom Dina is reportedly planning a lavish do to welcome Samantha into the family.

OK here’s how all this is going to pan out. Blohan will get front page of People magazine and announce that she likes puss, then she’ll get married and sell the pics for $10 million, then a few days later, she’ll kick the Ronson to the curb. She’ll have a big public meltdown, get arrested, go back to rehab and then come out a new woman. Meanwhile, shit for brain’s Dina will still be whoring out that skank Ali and taking all her pay cheques. They need to change their routine.

[Image: News of the world]

Dina Lohan has just learned that her 45 year old daughter Ali had a casting call with a big-time, award winning porn director.

Ali Lohan’s rep told TMZ that Ali had no idea that Peter Davy was behind such classics as “Breast Wishes 14″ and “Bun Busters 12.” Yeah and I’m the Queen of England. Of course Ali knew about it - her mother orchestrated the whole thing for their shitty reality TV show. It’s pretty funny though considering porn is exactly where Ali’s career is heading. She’ll have to settle for Memaw-on-Memaw porn though since she already looks haggard as all hell.

Meanwhile, Dina is going pretend ape-shit for the camera’s.