Starting from the top left…AVERAGE, UGLY, FUGLY, UGLY, FUGLY, UGLY and UGLY. I’m not sure what that averages out to be, but It would be close to downright fug. Imagine having been the photographer that day.

“All together now…smile! OK let’s try that again. Miley, try not to open your mouth. It makes you look like a chipmunk. Trace, I need you to turn your head to the left. No wait, to the right. On second thought, would you mind just stepping out of the photo? Thanks. And the lady at the back, I need you to put that mane over your face or at least try not to look like a stunned horse. C’mon people, hustle!”

This is what happens when lesbians make babies! Wait, the thing with the mullet is a lezzie, right? Just kidding, I knew it was Billy Ray. What’s funny is that was him in his hey day and he still looked like a constipated lezbot. And as for that broad faced trollop on the right - the one he calls a wife - she really shouldn’t try the sexy, tousled hair look. It makes her look like a $2 hooker staring down desperate old pedo’s for crack money. She probably tried that on Billy Ray and it was love at first sight.

[Image: Oceanup]

Yep, Samantha Ronson is still the same, greasy haired, highschool dropout she was back in the 90’s, only difference is she’s famous now. Looks like her dream came true, although she probably thought fame would bring her beauty and riches. How wrong she was!. At least she scored some A-List puss out of it though.

Click the  thumbnail below to see the rest of her yearbook. It goes to show how deceptive cute babies can be. You never know whether they’ll turn out to be ugly mutt-faced bitches. Just sayin’…

[Images: ONTD]

The Jonas Virgins “rocked out” at Good Morning America this morning in front of thousands of screaming tweenies. And by rocked out, I mean they moped around the stage like frail Pepaws on their last leg.

OK so I have admission to make. I kind of find Pubehead a little bit hot in these pictures. Emphasis on a little bit. As for the one on the right, he needs a paper bag for that offensive mug! No really, I’m seriously offended that he would even think about walking out of the house looking like that. Pee Wee Herman with sideburns anyone?

Click HERE to watch paint dry their performance.

[Images: Gossip Girls]

Miley Cyrus shows her maturity level whilst riding a bike around her ‘hood with some “friends”. If I was a parent, I wouldn’t let my child take two steps out the front door with that enabler!

[Image: Gossip Girls]

Sad news everyone. Leonardo DiCaprio has officially aged. Leo and actor pal Lukas Haas were spotted commandeering a luxury yacht on Saturday around the island of Ibiza. Leo, looking tired and bloated, spent the day smoking cigarettes.

I don’t care about the cigarettes, but he needs to do something about those man titties or else he can say goodbye to film roles. Well, film roles that require him with his shirt off. And lets be real here…those are his only good ones.

[Images: Just Jared]

Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez put on their happy faces - or in Demi’s case her tranny face - and posed for the camera’s together last night at the Teen Choice Awards. Supposedly there was never a rift between them, but Miley looks like she’s about to stab Demi in the back with a hair pin.

Miley also needs to do something about her tic-tac teefs! NOT CUTE! Speaking of not cute, how hideous is Demi’s outfit? She looks like she’s off to have tea with the Queen. As in the real Queen and not Zac Efron.

[Images: ONTD]

Famewhore Miley Cyrus is again acting like a spoiled diva, this time lashing out at wax museum Maddam Tassauds, for not getting her wax figure right. Boo fucking hoo.

“I did not have to pose for the waxwork and the clothes are nothing like I would wear either. So I was a little angry. It was so weird. I was like ‘I don’t dress like that!’ But apart from that I like it.”

You lying little brat! You’re just pissed ‘cuz they kept your pony teefs the way they are. Even if you end up getting veneers, they will always have the original, ugly Miley. Ha!

[Image: ONTD]

Madonna and her scat-lipped daughter Lourdes were spied leaving the Kaballah Centre in NYC last night, hand in hand. Hagdonna was said to be in a state of dissaray when a bunch of kids mistook her with Janice from The Muppets. Hey, that’s a compliment! Cat lady, anyone?

No, in all seriousness, imagine the adverse affect this will have on women-only gyms. Hag’s man muscles are enough to make the whole industry fall into recession. Also, does this mean Guy Ritchie is gay?

[Images: Wenn]