Pop open the champers and grab the dip! We’ve got cause for celebration. Paris Hilton’s MILFO (mom I’d like to fuck over), Kathy, hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol for a whole day year. After two of her four children went to jail for DUI last year, she vowed to give up the drink. A source told In Touch Weekly magazine that, “She wanted to set a good example for her family.”

This story reeks of wet, sloppy kaka, because Parasite’s mom gave birth to not one, but two skanky bimbo’s and that’s reason enough to drink to the grave. The picture above shows Kathy in her former glory days when she was a “cool mom”. It was probably taken last weekend.