George Bush keeps a close eye on the women’s Volleyball whilst making an appearance at this weekend’s Beijing Olympics.

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[Image: Mollygood]

Looks like Holly Madison’s getting too old for Hef. The National Enquirer is reporting that Pepaw is falling for the charms of a woman outside his trio of pet skanks. The new skank is a Ukrainian model named Dasha Astafieva. The two have been spied holding hands and Hef has even attended some of her naked photo shoots.

If I was Hef, I’d hire a few new bodyguards cuz Holly’s gonna be pissed! Bitch doesn’t want anyone ruining her chances of being the lucky girl to get pregnant with Pepaw’s frozen spermsies. She’s probably even bugged Paris Hilton’s vagina for extra security. Smart move in my book. As for the other two skank bunnies, they probably won’t give a rats ass - I mean, it’s Hef for gods sake! His peen is probably ribbed with layers upon layers of wrinkles. Ugh!

The Republican nominee for the forthcoming US election, John McCain, has come out against gay adoption in an interview with George Stephanopolous on This Week. Ol’ Leatherface McCain says that he is “for the values that two parent families, the traditional family represents.” Check out the borefest below:

Not only does his face look like chicken bones wrapped in leather, but his neck looks like a scrotum. Haven’t you heard of nip tuck, Frankenstein? I guess not, since you look like you morphed here from the dinosaur age along with your out of touch politics. Haven’t you heard? Traditional= Old. Like you.