No, it’s just a big beaked emu…

Parasite Hilton has revealed that her and Spiderman co-creator Stan Lee are teaming up with MTV to create a superhero based on her. I’m not even joking! She told San Diego CityBeat,

“I’ve created a superhero with [Spider-Man co-creator Stan Lee], which is [based on] me, and we’re doing a cartoon right now with MTV.” When asked about what superpower she’d most like to have she responded “To be invisible — that would be fun,” she says. Oh, that WOULD be fun!

And I’m sure her cartoon will be a runaway success like her direct-to-dvd movies and those perfumes she flogged off to 12 year old girls since everyone else avoided it like the plague. The only upside I can see to this whole thing is that when it fails, she might finally realize no one gives a shit about her when she’s opening her mouth and theres not a dick in there.

God this bitch just won’t shut her yapper! Paris Hilton’s mom Kathy is now talking politics and she’s not happy with John McCain’s new TV ad which labels Barack Obama as a “celebrity” and compares him to Parasite and Shitney. Kathy writes,

“It is a complete waste of the country’s time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs. And it is a completely frivolous way to choose the next President of the United States.”

You know, she’s not exactly wrong, but the fact that she’s Paris Hilton’s mother automatically strips her of having a valid opinion. I mean, how can we take her seriously when her daughter makes a living off of wasting the country’s time and attention?

Pop open the champers and grab the dip! We’ve got cause for celebration. Paris Hilton’s MILFO (mom I’d like to fuck over), Kathy, hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol for a whole day year. After two of her four children went to jail for DUI last year, she vowed to give up the drink. A source told In Touch Weekly magazine that, “She wanted to set a good example for her family.”

This story reeks of wet, sloppy kaka, because Parasite’s mom gave birth to not one, but two skanky bimbo’s and that’s reason enough to drink to the grave. The picture above shows Kathy in her former glory days when she was a “cool mom”. It was probably taken last weekend.