Oprah Winfrey is still raking in the big bucks. Her business empire grosses her $385 million a year according to TV Guide’s annual star salary survery. That’s over $1 million a day! That’s sickening! No really, it’s making my stomach churn. I don’t take news like this all that well. ‘Scuse me while I barf up last night’s beef enchilada’s on Oprah’s face. And no I’m not bitter you scrags!

 Simon Cowell came in second on the list with $50 million and Pepaw Letterman rounded out the top 3 with $32 million. Simon Cowell must have the best job in the world. He gets to talk shit and banks a shitload of money for it. OK now I’m bitter.